Inner Climate Guide is a place to fortify your spirit when you've lost hope in humanity. Come explore the inner work of making change in an era of deep suffering and immense possibility.
It was a beautiful fall evening. We were talking about how things were going in our lives, one of those honest conversations that feeds the soul’s need to be witnessed. I was sharing about the life lessons I keep bumping into.
My brilliant friend Emma said, “You know what I’ve been telling myself? Remember what you forget.”
Remember what you forget. I like that. Feels easy.
When we’re gripped by existential crises, stressful periods, or down days, our minds try hard to solve the puzzles in front of us. “There’s something wrong here,” we think. We search for new answers. The shiny answers to end all questions.
We expend a lot of energy trying to work things out in our mind that we already have the answers to.
“Remember what you forget” implies you already know what you need to know. There’s probably not a brilliant new solution waiting around the corner every time you get lost. During those big growth spurts there might be. But the stable lessons, the life-long lessons, the ones we’re here to learn, they are annoyingly simple.
I think that’s why we resist them. We mistake simple for stupid. We yearn for something profound, sexy, enticing. Those are the answers we could really commit to, we think.
Take for example, presence. When I am present, I feel more satisfied with life. I communicate more effectively. I am able to feel my feelings without getting swept away by them. I love people more easily. I appreciate life more fully.
But I forget that presence is one of my answers. I don't want presence to be the answer. That sounds like annoying spiritual advice. I was hoping there’s an easier way, maybe a magic mantra or smoothie I could drink?
That’s when I get curious. What’s this resistance about? For me, it’s about the fact that living from a state of presence is hard and requires me to change how I lead my life. I forget to be present because I’m not sure it’s worth it.
I convince myself it’s easier to run around letting my monkey mind be the leader, searching for answers somewhere far from here. But if I’m really honest, monkey mind drains me, which takes effort to recover from—mentally, physically, spiritually.
We forget what we should remember because simple things are hard in practice. Yes. And we should remember that we are what we practice. If we’re practicing forgetting the lessons we’re here to learn, that’s what we’ll become good at. The same energy we’re spending resisting is the same energy we could put into practicing what we know we need to practice.
Presence doesn’t always feel amazing, but it feels right. It helps me let go and see that just being is enough.
It’s ultimately easier to remember what you forget than to create something new each time you get lost. You have a map. It might be buried. Maybe you want support finding it. But it’s in there. Most of the time, you know what you need to do.
So, what do you forget? What would be good to remember in your down moments?
Besides presence, I forget that my intuition knows its shit. Overthinking doesn’t get me anywhere good.
I forget that fear is my friend. He doesn’t always get it right, but he is looking out for my safety.
I forget that self-doubt is a way I make myself small. I don’t want to be small.
I forget that I am never alone because I am of this earth.
Remember what you forget. Then practice what you forget.
And let me know how it goes?
Growing is good,
Ryan